Training hurts. As a species that moves towards pleasure/comfort and away from pain/discomfort, getting sweaty and sore for a few hours a week might not make a lot of immediate sense - unless we feel that hit of motivation to go do something.
The same goes for any pursuit, as there's a high chance of suffering or it being hard - or at least more difficult than doing nothing. Yet we see people performing difficult or mind numbing things on a regular basis, things they don’t have to do to survive, and that maybe don’t feel great at the time, so how do they do it? Is there a trick to getting motivated, a way to hold on to this feeling of “let’s do this”? Or is the trick that there is no trick at all?
Today we’ll take a look at different tactics we can use when we need to do something, but we’re just not feeling it. Whether these “somethings” are actually important or not is up to us - we don’t need to be doing everything and improving 24/7, and we won’t all want the same things. So know yourself, what you want and why it’s important to you.
Starting off with the toughest, but most useful to master...
1. DISCIPLINE
What do I do on the days I don’t feel like training? I train anyway - Jocko Willink
Do we need to feel motivated to actually go out and do something? Nope. Does feeling sad or tired prevent us from physically moving or doing something? It can make it feel a lot tougher, but we are still in control of our limbs. Feelings can make action easier or harder to carry out, but we are ultimately in control of what we do or don’t do. That’s all discipline or willpower is, acting (or not acting) despite how we feel. Detaching from our emotional side for a moment, and doing what needs to be done. Simple, but not easy. Just like to finish a long run, all we have to do is keep moving forward until we reach the end - simple in theory, but doesn’t make it easy in practice.
This doesn’t mean we either have it or we don’t - discipline is more of a skill that we develop and refine through practice. Some people will be naturally highly disciplined and orderly, others will be less so - but regardless of where we start, we can improve upon it. To do so, we just need to use it more often, in decisions great and small.
For some situations, that will be enough - just decide what we need to do, and do it. Practise discipline to improve it, and see where it takes us. For other situations, our feelings will overwhelm the logical brain and our willpower is not enough to keep us on track. That doesn’t make us weak or failures, we are emotional beings - we have emotions, and they will come and go as they please. Fortunately, there are a few other tools we have at our disposal to get (and keep) the ball rolling.
2. MOMENTUM
Action creates motivation
If we’re lacking the stone cold discipline to go do something, we can always build up some momentum - like a long jumper building up speed before launching into the air. This works by taking advantage of that quick shot of dopamine we get from completing a task or accomplishing something, but instead of taking on one big task immediately, we break it down into small steps and complete them one after the other, building momentum as we do so.
For example, running can feel like a chore and the thought of all the effort it takes going from the couch to finishing a hard route is going to be, at best, off putting. So instead, we break it down. Get shoes out and ready to put on. Put on running clothes. Do warm up/dynamic stretches. Put shoes on. If we have a tracking app or device, switch it on ready to record. Got everything you need? Time to step outside. Now, start running. Make it to that lamppost or tree. Make it to the next one. Keep stepping until you reach the next object or landmark, repeat until we’re finished.
For working on a text document - load up the document. Find an area we want to work on. Write one sentence. Start another, or edit the last one. Maybe write a sentence in a different section. Don’t focus on “I have to write a whole essay”, think about “I have to add to this somehow”. Take the pressure off by thinking small, breaking something down into the smallest actionable step and doing it. What can we do right now, and do it. Use the momentum of accomplishing that task to get into the next one, and use that to do the next one.
The more momentum we have, the harder it is to stop us. Just like a boulder rolling down a hill, in the beginning a few rocks or a stump will easily stop the boulders path, but once it’s up to max speed it becomes unstoppable, smashing through distractions and obstacles. The same goes for us and our routines - in the beginning there are lots of things that can distract us or encourage us to give up. After we’ve been practicing for a while or got into the swing of something, these earlier distractions will barely register and it will take a lot for us to want to give up this hot streak we’re on. So get that ball rolling, and find ways to keep it moving.
3. SEE WHY
He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how - Viktor Frankl
Having a clear reason for why we want to do or achieve something can be a powerful internal motivator on it’s own, so when things get tough we just have to focus on the reason we’re pushing forward in the first place. What this WHY is can be anything important to you, just as long as it’s clear and easy to think of.
Having physical reminders to hold on to or placed in key areas (the fridge, on our desk, etc), can be powerful tools for keeping us on track. This could be an image or photo, something written down, a sentimental object - anything that holds meaning to us. Use it to remember what is important, helping to make the decision to move forward instead of quitting.
4. HAVE FUN
There are many ways to achieve a goal, there is no one perfect plan or route. As such, we can use this variety to our advantage - by choosing the most enjoyable way forward from the options available (or the least off putting one). If the goal is to exercise more, we don’t have to run or go to the gym - we could do yoga, dancing, martial arts, hillwalking, swimming and much more. If the goal is to get into drawing we don’t have to start with a pencil - we could use charcoal, pens, try different styles, experiment with textures and subjects. More specific goals will require more specific methods, but as long as we understand the principles of how we can make progress, we just need a bit of imagination to find what can work.
Be rigid in your principles, but flexible in your methods. Have fun with it. Be creative. Experiment.
5. PUT IT OUT THERE
Accountability for staying on track lies with us, however, by sharing with others what we’re doing or trying to do can help add some external accountability into the mix. If we know people will be asking about how we’re getting on or are keeping an eye on us, we’re more likely to stay on track - or face the awkwardness of saying “ummm I’ve done nothing”. This could be telling people privately, or posting it publicly on social media, sharing tips and reflections on our experience to help anyone thinking about doing the same.
This also makes it easy to look back at how much progress we’ve made. Often we’re taking babysteps forward, but over a long period of time this will add up. Looking at how far we’ve come can give us a hit of optimism, encouraging us to stick to the plan and keep making progress - even if it feels like we’re moving at a snail's pace.
6. GET COMPETITIVE
With our inherent survival instinct, we’re all a little competitive from time to time, with varying degrees of intensity. This can be a negative thing, comparing/judging ourselves harshly for not “doing well” at something or placing our sense of worth on it, but with a different perspective it can also be used in our favor. If we look at it positively “I need to step up my game, how can I do this” instead of “I suck, I can’t do this, I give up”, we can make use of this competitiveness to find a way to make more progress towards a certain goal by being more creative, asking better questions or setting a higher standard than before.
We can compete with ourselves (I read 3 chapters last week, this week I’ll aim for 4) or with others (Jo got 5000 steps yesterday, today I’ll go for more). Maybe we invite them and others to partake in this challenge, maybe it’s a private competition - each has its pros and cons. Maybe there’s a reward for the one who wins, or a forfeit for the one who loses.
As with any competition, remember the point of it and that there’s a world outside of it. So no sabotaging, bullying, lying, whining, overt bragging, or dirty tricks just to win or beat someone - the goal is improvement, so that’s where the focus should be. As tempting as it may be, we shouldn’t knock someone's tower down to make ours look taller.
A COMMON THEME
These are just a few methods, with many more out there in the world. However, to work they all have one thing in common - we need to focus on how to move forward. If we’re focused on staying still or on excuses that allow us to make no progress, then that’s likely what we’ll get (which is fine if we’re happy with where we’re at). So we need to be careful about what we focus on and what we’re telling ourselves. Don’t worry about being perfect or going from 0 to 100 overnight, just find ways to take steps, big or small, in the direction you want to go - wherever that may be.
We also need to remember that no matter what tactics we use there is no guarantee that we’ll immediately get the outcome we want, or that success lies at the end of every positive movement. This doesn’t mean we’ve failed or it’s all meaningless, only that it didn’t work out this time. Just have to dust ourselves off and get back to it - evaluate where we’re at, where we want to be and our approach. By taking action and focusing on what we can do, we stand a decent chance at achieving the outcome we are looking for - instead of doing nothing, or just hoping the fates are kind and decide to make it happen for us. Following the path of least resistance or “going with the flow” is fine if it’s taking us where we want to go, and a good way to avoid hardship/extra stress for a time - until it decides to take us over a waterfall and onto sharp rocks. Keep your head up, and if you’re not heading where you need to go, take the oars and adjust course.